SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS

Limiting belief systems can be described as negative beliefs we hold about ourselves and other people. Some common limiting beliefs include ‘I am not good enough’ or ‘I am alone’. These belief systems are automatically passed from generation to generation with most of us completely unaware that it is happening. Biology of Belief, author Bruce Lipton (cell biologist) believes that these limiting beliefs are embedded on a cellular level and many diseases are caused by the stress that these unconscious beliefs create. Dr. David Servan-Schreiber, neuropsychiatrist and author of the new book “Anticancer: A New Way of Life”, stresses that we need to be aware of our old attitudes, our childhood patterns that can create feelings of helplessness in our lives. Taking care of our “terrain” our minds and bodies, as David calls it, can be a preventative tool to ward off the development of disease, specifically cancer.

Our limiting beliefs create mental chatter which is self-deprecating. Stress, anxiety, depression and disease can evolve from these limiting belief tapes that play over and over again. It often feels like we are prisoners of our own minds! In fact we are prisoners, and we are the only ones that have the key to unlock this prison cell.

Unfortunately, when we are controlled by our prison cells we cannot stay connected to the positive aspects of ourselves. Our inner beauty gets buried and it becomes more and more difficult to evoke.

Impact in Relationships – The Dance of the Prison Cells

In our relationships with our partners, children and families our self-limiting beliefs often get triggered without our awareness. A simple situation can get blown out of proportion leading to anger, withdrawal and unnecessary hurt. For example, if your limiting belief is ‘I’m not good enough’, at times you may see life through these particular “lens”. We have very sensitive antennas that misinterpret and zoom right in on any comments that others make! In my personal life and clinical practice I see this happening over and over again. Personally, I would get triggered if my husband made any comments about my parenting style (unless they were positive!). I was the therapist and of course was doing it totally right! My husband would have good ideas or different perspectives, however I would not be able to hear them because I was too angry. My limiting belief reared its’ ugly head and I would misinterpret his comments to mean I wasn’t doing a good enough job or I was doing it wrong. Then he would also get triggered because of his self-limiting belief systems and off we would go, on our dance of the prison cells!

When we are experiencing intense emotions our logic significantly decreases and our emotions hijack us. At these times effective communication is more difficult and it can take a good 30 minutes for our minds and bodies to begin to calm down. The more triggered we are the longer it takes to become more rational.

Coping Strategies

As previously mentioned we all develop self-limiting beliefs about ourselves as young children. Coupled with these negative beliefs are our coping strategies we develop to deal with these beliefs. Once again we do not always have the “brainsense” and/or role-models as youngsters to develop healthy strategies so we develop destructive coping strategies. Our innate yearning and need to belong in this world further drives the development of these coping skills. Some common coping strategies include: persistent pleasing, superiority syndrome, control, avoidance and the victim/rescuer/persecutor cycle (The Drama Triangle; Stephen Karpman).

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